a day behind.

So I found this and I wanted to do it.

I'm already a day behind.  Go me.

So, starting now (which will make this the "blog every day from may second to june first challenge")

the story of my life:

I was born in the summer.  This was excellent until I was fifteen.  Then it seemed like I had to wait much longer than everyone else did to date and drive and all that wonderful stuff you get to do when you turn sixteen.  I have a really great mom, and an excellent dad.  I also have two younger sisters, lou and mags, and one male sibling, also younger.

I was very much not a tomboy.  I loved pink and pretending I was a disney princess.  I tried a lot of sports and was awful at all of them.  I've since taken up running (sort of) because I figure I can't be bad at it.

I believe that every kid has an awkward stage.  Mine was very long.  I was an awkward kid, and an awkward teenager.  I'm probably now an awkward adult.  Luckily through all the awkwardness, I found myself someone to marry. 

I met husband my freshman year of college when we lived in the same dorm.  We dated for (almost) two years and then became Mr. & Mrs.  We're currently working on finishing school (because I didn't go to college to get married, I came to get a degree) and living happily ever after.

We have a happy life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything at all.

some thoughts on moving house

(long, rambling post warning.)

Having a house is pretty high on my list of dreams for the near future.

I want a house at the moment more than I want a baby.  And I love babies.

I've spent years dreaming about what I want it to look like, how I want to decorate it, et cetera.

I'll be content with a pretty white house with a blue door and shutters.

(I just googled "white house, blue shutters" and came up with a whole bunch of pictures of the notebook.  How cute.)

The night before we signed the contract for our first apartment, I cried.

It was a basement.  And I'd spent the last eight years (minus about eight months) living in basements.

It had wood paneling on most of its walls, concrete floors, and a shared laundry room.

I didn't want it.  

It wasn't going to be home.

"You will make it ours," Husband told me.

So we moved in.  It was close to school.  It had a nice yellow kitchen with a lot of counter space, but not a lot of cupboard space.  It had lots of shelves where we kept our pictures and books.  We had a cozy bedroom with space heaters and a Christmas tree night light for when husband had to work graveyard and I was all alone.

Unfortunately some conflicts with our upstairs neighbors got us thinking it was time to move. 

We found a new apartment.

We moved this week.

It has carpet.  It has two bedrooms and two bathrooms and quiet neighbors.  It has lots of storage space.  It was going to be perfect.  I couldn't wait to leave that awful basement.

Except.

As we packed up the last of our things today, I realized the basement wasn't awful at all.  I let it sink in how much it had grown on me, and it was a lot. 

I'm going to miss the wood panels on our walls.  I am going to miss our cozy bedroom, and how the closet lights were so finicky that I usually found what I needed and turned them off again before they even came on.  I am going to miss my yellow kitchen.  And I cried again.

Boxes are filling up our living room.  Our new house is a mess.  Our new house isn't home.

"You will make it ours," Husband told me.

I hope so.  But until then, I am hoping lots of snuggles and listening to the cd this dear friend made before he left on his mission will help it to feel that way.  

And someday, we'll have a place that can be ours forever, but until then, we will be okay.

we had an adventure

for our spring break, husband and i went to san francisco.  we had so much fun!

and here is what i learned from our adventure:

-it is a long drive to san francisco.

-when i drive for a long time, my second to last toe on my left foot falls asleep.  it's totally weird.

-traffic in big cities is insane.  i am so lucky husband didn't mind driving all week.  related, we couldn't have done it without a gps.

(view from the temple terrace)

-going to the temple is a really good way to start an adventure.

-we are hopeless.  trying to catch a bus was a huge ordeal.  we couldn't figure it out.  so we walked back to the bay from chinatown.

-san francisco has some of the coolest stores!  the san francisco sock market? definitely bought myself a pair of these.

(they are sharks.  eating my feet.  just in case you couldn't tell.)

there was also a left-handed store.  so a store for me and one for my sweet lefty husband.  i wanted him to get a left-handed notebook or something, but he did not.

-san francisco clearly does not believe in parking lots.  parking lanes on the road?  super, super weird.

-i love the ocean.

this was the first time i ever saw the ocean.  it was the first time i ever put my feeties in it.  and i just think that's really cool.  on the other side of that water is japan.

-when you lose your phone in the ocean (husband) it won't break.  but it will get a superpower and you will never need a phone charger again.

(how pretty is this?)

-adventures with my sweetheart are my favorite.  we'll have many 

more someday.

(the golden gate bridge.  because san francisco.)

ramblings.

I know posts have been few and far between.  I have been busy or had no real wisdom to share.  Today i read a blog post (actually 2. but i'll get to that) by a girl who got married just shortly after I did.

She posted about how one day she didn't have much motivation and didn't want to get out of bed or shower or anything.  One day.  One lazy day.  And she was freaking out and calling herself a terrible wife, and saying how she'd had such a hard time that day.

The second post was a few hours from that same blogger.  She posted about how well she and her husband eat.  How she can throw random ingredients together in the crock pot and end up with a beautiful and delicious meal.  How her potato soup is the best.  How she is a wonderful cook.

This really struck me the wrong way.  I have been feeling every day like she was in her first post.  Every single day.  I think I am married to the perfect man.  He never leaves socks on the floor, never leaves dirty dishes in the sink.  He's organized and studious.  He is practically perfect in every way.

I'm not.
I had all these dreams of being the best wife I could be.  I was a pretty good girlfriend, an okay fiancee, but now I leave all my clothes on the floor, because I hate putting laundry away.  I sometimes (usually) don't make the bed until I get back from class or work.  I let dishes pile up, and when I actually do try to do them, I make a mess.  I am very easily distracted, and not motivated to work hard in classes I don't enjoy.  I try to cook healthy, homemade meals for us, but sometimes we just end up with hamburger helper.  I am a bad influence when it comes to grocery shopping because I want to get something to feed my cheesecake obsession.  The potato soup turns out watery and disgusting.

Her post wasn't bad.  She later talked about how she got over that feeling of being a failure.  I know this wasn't her goal in writing, but it made me feel a hundred times worse.  If that one day made her a "terrible wife," what does the last two months make me?

With valentine's day coming up, I want to brag a little about husband.  He's wonderful.  He is so patient with me and all my imperfections, puts up with my overreactions, and can handle me when I get overly emotional, which is a lot.  When I get feeling down, he always tells me how lucky he is to be married to me.  Which, while I don't understand that most of the time, is something I absolutely need to hear.  He's super handsome, and he smells nice, and he'll eat the disgusting failed potato soup, and tell me that it's really good, and that I did a good job.  He is silly, and he can always make me laugh, even though I'm doing my best to pout.  He's snuggly.  He wanted me to clear that up.  My last post made it sound like he doesn't appreciate snuggles.  He didn't like that.

Basically.  I love him more than I have ever loved anyone.  I'm a lucky girl.  

I think I'll keep him.

4 days

(just for kim)

i broke one of my secret identity blogging rules.

but that's okay.

because i'm getting married in four days.

to my handsome, wonderful, silly, incredible

best fiance ever.

and all i have to do is finish three more finals

finish my guestbook

and

move all my things into our apartment.

four more days.

and i can't wait.

engagement photos

check.

mrs. (almost)

on august 17, 2012, i got engaged.

and so here is the story.

it had kind of been a long day.  both of us were moving into new apartments.

we went to see les miserables.  we went dancing.

(never mind that the dance was lame.  we went dancing.)

after we left the dance, we drove up to a nearby lake.  before taking off on our moonlit stroll, we read a chapter in alma.

we walked around the lake once, and then stopped.

(he has always joked about proposing to me in a really terrible way.  like in a port-a-potty, or with a plastic ring.)

we were stopped by a bathroom.

he got down on one knee and slipped a massive green plastic sparkly ring onto my right ring finger.

"will you be my wife?"

"are you being serious right now?"

"i'm being completely serious"

"yes.  but you put the ring on the wrong hand."

after he had moved the ring to the proper finger, we headed back to the car and drove back to his new place.

i told him we needed to go ring shopping soon.  his green plastic ring was quite a few sizes too big and kept falling off.  i was more than willing to wear it until i got a real one, and asked if he wanted me to.

he said that of course i should wear it, and that it would probably be a few weeks until we could go get a real one.

we just hung out and laughed and joked for a couple of hours.

and then he asked if we could go on another walk.

i was rather tired, but i agreed.

this time we went to the place on campus that we had our first kiss.

it was midnight, and suddenly he got off the bench where he was sitting next to me ...

and onto one knee.

with an open ring box.

"will you marry me?"

that's a ring.  it's a real ring.  he went and picked out an actual ring for me.  this is really happening, he's really proposing.

a million thoughts ran through my head all at once, and before i knew it, tears were spilling over.

"does that mean yes?" he asked.

and it did.  i nodded.

he slipped the ring onto my finger (the right one this time, since it was already marked with the green ring.)

(it wasn't a real ring.  just a placeholder so that i could pick out my own later)

a week later we went shopping for my real ring.  

we found one that i love

(but not nearly as much as i love my new fiance)

it finally came back from being sized.

i have three engagement rings.

and the most wonderful fiance ever.

and only thirteen weeks before i become a mrs.

(we're getting married two days after finals ends.  we're insane.  it's fine.)

and i'm so happy.

it couldn't come fast enough.

art project: success

we haven't made art in awhile.  because normally things don't work out this well.

but these are cool.

the boys that date the girls that live in this house are choice.

within one week...

to: roommate kate

from: roommate kate's boyfriend.

to: roommate madi

from: roommate kate and kate's boyfriend

to: roommate gracie

from: gracie's boyfriend.

our apartment is all full of flowers!

as for my boyfriend, he didn't buy me flowers, but...

we dance in the kitchen to beatles records and take naps on sunday afternoons.  so it's okay.

secretly...

i like that our toaster is broken, and that we make toast in the oven.

i name my blankets.  i do it so can can say that i cuddle with thor, mr. rochester, and neil patrick harris.
random thought: i haven't named one after johnny depp yet.  that's odd.

i love my new real shoes.

i put the "ministry of magic entrance" sign above our toilet.

i adore being called flower.

and to finish, i think we all ought to remember this:

life rocks.

have a lovely day.

a random happy list

in no particular order:

4 new books

the best roommates ever

mac and cheese

this one boy

tunes

dr. horrible's sing-along blog

patches (my puppy)

my uber gorgeous sisters

my awesome male sibling

france class

cute movies

ludo

institute
excellent socks
missionaries
drawing
france
secret identities.
the big bang theory



the end.

maybe this is silly.

today.
i was in desperate need of a smile, and there was not one to be found.
digital imaging is not my cup of tea, and all i learned from painting class today was that i can't mix colors worth anything. so here i am, doubting my skill as an artist even further, and i get a text from a member of the bishopric wanting to meet with me.
i knew i was going to get a church calling meant to teach me a lesson (this one actually didn't turn out to be terrible, thank goodness.)
and the worst of it... the roommate problems that i never expected.
all this equals jane is a mess.


but then there's this boy.  and he is okay with me being an emotional train wreck sometimes.  and he has me over for dinner.  and we go for a drive.  and we watch the office.  he is great.

oh, and then i log in to post this, and notice that i have 2 followers now.  2!
this is definitely silly of me to get so excited about this.  but it made my day better.
dear bellah, you get the "i made jane smile" award.
have a lovely day.

lies and deceit.

i posted a post earlier about french table fitting into my schedule perfectly.
it no longer does.

but i had a pretty excellent day regardless.
starting with, you know, just moving some priceless art into a gallery this morning.
and ending with a splendid date with a boy i fancy.
i love life.