that awkward blogging moment

when you're at the store and you run into someone who you frequently blog-stalk, and you almost say hi, but then you remember that this person has no idea who you are.  also, you don't actually know who they are outside of the internet.

this is also the reason that i have a secret blogging identity. so that never happens to you.  you're welcome.

learning to play the guitar.

i decided a little while ago i'd like to learn to play the guitar.  santa brought me a guitar for christmas, and i signed up for music 1080.

guitar proved to be easier to play than the piano (at least it has so far...)

and i was getting the hang of it.

one day in class, my teacher told us what our midterm would be.  we would each choose a song that uses only the four chords we've learned (g, c, d, and e minor.)  they're all fairly simple chords, and 8 billion songs use them.  singing along was encouraged but not required.  easy enough.

i chose my song, i worked out a strumming pattern, and i practiced.  i sang along, because without it the song is extremely repetitive.  i had a little trouble singing along to the strumming pattern i had picked during the chorus, but i didn't worry too much.

on the day of the midterm, i sat down in front of the class to play.  i was shaking a little bit, but just a little bit, because i was only a little bit nervous.  i had practiced.  it would be fine.

i made it through the first verse fine, but as i came to the first chorus i stumbled over the lyrics, getting distracted from my strumming, and before i knew it, i was using a strumming pattern that was completely wrong and didn't fit at all.  i got back on track during the second verse, but upon realizing that there was still another chorus left in the song, i got even more nervous and started to shake so much it made it hard to play.  by the end of the song, i was even singing notes that were completely wrong.  i was incredibly thankful at that moment that no one really knew the song, so they wouldn't know just how badly i'd messed it up.

yes, i played badly.

but i played.

i didn't stop singing halfway through when i realized how downhill it had gone.  i finished what i started.

i've only been playing for 2 months.  i am not going to be perfect at this yet.  and while my confidence was shattered for a moment, it isn't anymore.

the beginning is always going to be hardest.

don't give up.