love is an understatement. obsession is more accurate.

my love for les mis is ridiculous.
but it's okay.

it's okay to wake up and watch the bonus "making of les miserables" dvd that came with your tenth anniversary concert recording.
it's okay to want to travel to norway just so you might possibly be able to buy a copy of the original oslo production.
it's okay that I sometimes sing it in my sleep.  I assume that this actually has happened, as my roommate once woke up with "master of the house" stuck in her head.
It's okay that my travel plans to paris involves listening to "javert's suicide" on a bridge over the seine river. and a visit to the rue plumet.
it's okay that I have a massive crush on 9 or so frenchboys.  who are dead.  and fictional.

...

cam: "I don't know if you knew, but she's got a crush on a fictional frenchboy."

boy: "one?  try five of them."

me: "five?  actually there are nine.  it's like whatever, though."

it's okay that that is a normal conversation for me to have.

it's okay to walk down a creepy alleyway in order to meet the actor who played jean valjean in the american touring cast.

it's okay that I didn't get to meet enjolras.

okay, that one was actually not okay.

anyways, it's okay that philip quast played the best javert ever.  he's amazing.

it's okay that I seriously think that if there were ever to be a movie version made, I should help direct.  just because I know everything about it.  and I would make it perfect.

I have a question for boublil and schoenberg.

because by all accounts this really doesn't make sense.

why put every single member of les amis de l'abc in the musical except bahorel? poor bahorel.

see?

only someone as obsessed as me would even know that.

anyway.  once upon a time, I went to my ridiculously cool ex-boyfriend's house.  this was when he was just my ridiculously cool boyfriend.  his mom had silver candlesticks in their living room, with a little plaque that read "to love another person is to see the face of god"

I flipped a biscuit.

we got talking about les mis.  she loves les mis.  as if I didn't already love her enough.

ever since then, I have wanted to eventually have silver candlesticks to put in my house to remind me of jean valjean.

so guess what my future roommate got me for my birthday?

I love her.

and I'm like jean valjean.

and I'm like ridiculously cool ex-boyfriend's mom.

and that is just about the best news ever.

lots of things.

lots of things are important.
things like cleaning my house.
looking for work.
blog-stalking.

such is my life.

these two things are most important today.

one, I have a deep love for socks.  but plain white socks are just the lamest thing ever.  these are pink with dinosaurs and hearts.  they are nothing short of perfect.

two, ronnie day is a gem.

I would like to thank my ridiculously cool ex-boyfriend for providing me with the album and endless hours of listening to 

"I'm in love with you

so I'll keep breathing just so I can do

everything you need me to

and I'm a slave for all of your antics

I'm just a slave

I'm such a romantic fool."

which is currently my favorite song on the album (living for love)

but it changes all the time, because the whole album is splendid.

(splendid is a good word)

anyway, as much as I love "living for love", it isn't the one that's been stuck in my head for two days.

so I'm giving you all the link and lyrics to the one that has. for your listening enjoyment.

I know life, and I know love

and this is neither of them

and you know right from wrong - well you've done wrong

but I will love again

whether or not it's you.

well if it's easier to cry then let go

cause you will see through tear-soaked eyes that I am here for you.

I'll be reading your notes in vain

they are novocain but lately I feel the pain

so the picture frames are coming down for now

I am weak, but I am proud

and if you are ever lonely again

just call my name

I know that you hate the way I work so long

I know you hate the way I wrote this song

stayed up till the break of dawn

but love is not a compromise

it's something like the rising of the sun

although you've seen it a thousand times

you can't explain it.

well if it's easier to cry then let go

cause you will see through tear-soaked eyes that I am here for you

and I will sing for you

a song so good you'll doubt I wrote it

and I will dance for you.

I won't step on your toes.

and I will laugh for you

you'll have no choice, you'll have to say "I need you"

but till then...

I'll be reading your notes in vain

they are novocain, but lately I feel the pain

so the picture frames are coming down for now

I am weak but I am proud

and if you are ever lonely again

just call my name.

as my life is oh, so exciting

(note the sarcasm)

music seems to be the main thing to bring me joy.

and not just ronnie day.

Today I finally tracked down the song that he deemed "song of the moment" when we broke up.

It's perfect. (though, I'm not sure why the video has 3 minutes of silence at the end.)

moral of the story: music is awesome.  I am definitely a fan.

also, my ridiculously cool ex-boyfriend has awesome taste in music:)

Tuesdays. 7 pm. Be there.

If there's one thing that never fails to make me smile, it's my institute class.
I'm taking a class on the pearl of great price,
and every time I go, I learn something new
or think of something I never thought of before.

Every time I go, I have a spiritual feast.

I love learning new things about the gospel that I love so much.
I love listening to the insights my classmates have.
I love the church.

weddings. I might love them.

I went to two wedding receptions this weekend.

Both were so much fun! (mostly because I might have my own wedding almost completely planned)

but the one I went to tonight was in the bride's backyard..
and at one point among her running around and talking to all her guests and such,
she ran over to the trampoline where all the little kids were playing,
and jumped on the trampoline with them.
wedding dress and all.
it was ridiculously cute.

someday, guys, I'm getting married.

this weekend was just too great.

fish is fish

this may be a tad long, but it's worth it, I promise.
this is, hands-down, the best missionary letter I have ever recieved.
from a dear friend I went to high school with.

"concerning the fish question,

In considering the objective piscicity of a fish, fish-shaped object, or other nautical referencing object (heretofore known as fish), the question of perceptive integrity must be taken into account.  A subjective categorization cannot unambiguously determine the intrinsic nature of a fish, whether fishlike or otherwise.  Prudence would dictate that we preserve the delicate kingdom of fishhood.

The problem at heart is in the aggregious gaps in the fish paradigm.  We cannot justly say that a few unfishlike tendencies cam make a fish not a fish, nor can we say that a few fishlike tendencies make something a fish.  Germaine to our discussion, a few unfishlike tendencies, such as being stiff and made out of wheat, does not inequouically make a goldfish not a fish.

It would be quite inhumane to base the life and happiness of an otherwise innocent fish on the subjective perception of the fishiness of said fish.  It would be quite illogical to argue that subjective perception of fishiness is indivisibly toed to objective appraisal of fishiness.  The departure from prototypical fishiness can not reasonably be answered on the heads of the goldfish.  Any attempt to victimize an innocent fish would be morally wrong.

the impossibility of unambiguous fish assessment has let to many other fish related cases: whale v. fish, squid v. fish, tadpole v. fish, creepy weird deep sea fish v. fish.  All cases have ruled in favor of the protection and conservation of said fish and such nautical creatures.  We have no indisputable reason to reasonably differentiate between the plights of said fish-related court cases and the argument of goldfish currently under question.

To use a further analogy, saying goldfish are not fish because they are crackery is like saying a pine tree is not a tree because it does not have leaves.  I could also be evoking of saying bald people are not people because they don't have hair.  Such reactionary thinking must be discontinued if all fish are ever to hold hands in the circle of brotherhood.

In summary, you cannot unambiguously determinate the piscicity of goldfish under our current paradigm.  The interests of goldfish must be protected.

I repeat myself:

fish is fish, no exceptions."

I about died laughing. I believe the argument was over whether or not we should consider goldfish crackers to be fish.  I do believe he won.

Fish is fish, guys.

this picture.

girl: "I'm scared of lightning!"

boy: "that's okay, I'm scared of the cold."

it's very sweet, and I rather like it.

and sorry it's blurry, my camera doesn't take very good photos.

:(

wouldn't that be cool? :p

the following photo is my wallpaper on my phone:

haha, and loving this photo as much as I do, I flipped my phone open today and showed it to someone, exclaiming, "It's Mika!"

My 5-year-old cousin who was sitting at the table with us goes:

"Mika?  Is Mika your boyfriend??"

I'm pretty sure my dear cousin is the highlight of my life.

No, Mika is not my boyfriend.

But wouldn't that be cool?

someday I will get better at naming my posts.

we all know honesty is key, right?
right.
well, I just made a discovery.  rather simple, actually, and most likely silly.
being honest with oneself is just as important as being honest with others.
it isn't as though I was dishonest with myself before.
but one night, as I was writing in my journal, I started writing things that were completely true that I had just never realized about myself.
I liked it.  I liked knowing for sure what was going on in my head and what I thought about things that were happening in life.  I'm happy.  Some things have been hard to learn about myself, but I'm better for knowing them.

the end.

ps: sometimes you find a song that just makes you incredibly happy.  Josiah Leming's lyrics are brilliant.  His piano playing is brilliant.  I think his voice is brilliant ...though I realize it's rough and very flawed. I have never met anyone else who even knew who he was though.  Which is sad.
today I found three of his songs I'd never heard before.  And I adore them all.

You should check them out.
Please.
appalachia
maybe
song without a reason

but be warned. you may fall in love. and his music may be slightly addicting.

I have the coolest male sibling.

sometimes he drives me crazy.  but one of my favorite things he does is crack the famous "that's what she said" joke.

only male sibling's are the best.
he only says them after things that couldn't ever be made into an innuendo.

for example, I had some friends over this weekend.  the typical greeting for friends who haven't seen each other in awhile:

"how are you?"

male sibling:

"that's what she said!"

hilarity ensues.

perfection.

Just a thought...

I'm so glad that Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman were in Sweeney Todd.

Why?

Because I could listen to Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman sing duets all day.

the reason.

I started writing this blog because I didn't feel like there was much for me to smile about at all.
but over the past couple of days, it seems like everything has given me a reason to smile.

the list:
*cuddling up on the couch and watching jane eyre within minutes of waking up.  I love jane eyre.
*raspberries.  I might be in love with them.
*my first letter from elder carter since january.
*amazing random sales at rue 21.
*wanting to do nothing but draw.  all the time.
*it's possible to find mika music and sheet music in america.
*surprise visits from one of my best friends.
*driving at night with the window rolled down.
*institute class.
*my cuddling hoodie.  seriously.  it's the closest one can get to cuddling if one is alone.
*socks.
*looking at the stars.
*C2, stanley, and johanna (or memories of.)
*50 cent ice cream at maceys.
*going to the temple.

...I'm certain there have been more.  life has given me so much to smile about this week.

:)

be thankful

today, I saw a book called "1001 reasons to be thankful"
they were little things like socks, harry potter, and friends.

I keep a gratitude journal, and I write in it every night.  today I read back on all my entries from the past week or so.  I realized I had so much to be thankful for.  even little tiny things like this entry:

"raspberries.  I might be in love with them."

having things to be thankful for makes me happy.

It's Okay.

I wear mismatched christmas socks in the middle of june sometimes.

It's okay.

best smile ever.

It's been a month since I left school.  A month since I said goodbye to my friends who became more like my family.  It's been a rather lonely month.
One of my friends from school is working here over the summer, and staying with me for a bit of it.  Today, we picked her up at the airport, and on our way home, we stopped to pick up another friend of ours who lives nearby.
I smiled so much my face hurt.

I've missed them turribly.
:)

when you've had enough...

and you need somebody to know....
when you're feeling a bit stuck in the middle...
sometimes, you just have to relax.  take it easy.
remember that you are golden!

you will love today

and you will almost always have a happy ending:)

meet mika.

his music is my music for when I am happy, or want to be happy.

It's so fun, and pretty much fantastic.

and maybe you're not a fan of mika (weird...but maybe you're not.)

but put on your favorite song and dance.

it's okay if you can't dance.

i can't dance.

i dance like mika.

:)

2 smiles

I love missionaries.
I have a lot of friends who are on missions, and their letters always make my day.
I love seeing missionaries walking and waving "hi elders!"
but, today I didn't get a missionary letter.  It's been awhile since one of those graced my postbox.
today, I have 2 smiles (since I forgot to post one yesterday)

first is a text I got from a friend who just got his mission call asking me to guess where he was going.
I can't wait to find out!

my second smile is a friend of a friend came home from his mission today.  I can't wait till mine start coming home!  Those will be grand days indeed, to see friends I haven't in 2 years.

I can't wait.

Just thinking about it makes me smile :D