Friday, July 29, 2011

the earth without "art" is just "eh."

i am an artist and i always have been, ever since i could hold a crayon.

i'm studying painting, drawing, and printmaking with a minor in museum studies.
the goal is to someday work in a museum, where i can be surrounded by art and talk about art all day. and then go home and make art.

my future house needs an art studio, a room that can be as messy as it needs to be, where i can throw paint or paint on the walls or floor if a canvas just isn't tickling my fancy.

i love having paint or pencil smeared on my hands.
i love color.
making art gives me a chance to be alone with my thoughts;
to make sense of the world.

if you flip through my sketchbook, you will find chalk scribbles and fancy freehand pen drawings. you will find quotes and words that inspire me. you will find quick sketches i've tucked away to finish another day. you will find my life in pictures.

lately i have been what i call art-starving.
i haven't made art in far too long, and all summer, i've been worried.
actually, i've been worried since the day i decided to pursue the study of art.

what if i'm not cut out for this?

what if i'm only mediocre?

then today i found this:

it made me feel better.
because sometimes i am scared to death.  it's terrifying to present your work to a professor.  as helpful as critiques are, there's always the chance that someone is going to rip apart a piece you've put your heart into.  when i make art, it's for a reason.  it means something to me.  but sometimes it's just for me. what do i say when asked to explain one of those pieces?

art is scary.

art is wonderful.

art is life.

 i'll leave you with a little drawing i found in my sketchbook the other day.
it made me happy:)

this post was the cheese, and for that, i apologize.
i've realized that i am quite the overdramatic child.
but that's okay.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

a lot of little things

being back in the town that has my heart
climbing waterfalls
making too many cupcakes and taking one to a rather attractive male that I plan to marry
playing with puppies
chick flicks
tunes and singing along
driving through a pretty gorge
kisses on the cheek...and real kisses
church drawings and matt's class
my second family and i partyin' it up
seeing my new apartment and naming the fridge(his name is harry potter.)
lots of hugs and much-needed road trips
birthday cake
being inside stanley's apartment
a magic trick consisting of flying fire and not setting kamber's hand ablaze.
old juni stories
"tea is bad!" *runs away*
meeting his sister when he said i'd never get to
finding someone else to attend a mika concert with my roommates, ridiculously cool ex-boyfriend's mom, and i.
i shot a gun for the first time. and walked through a dam door.

I may have had a perfect weekend:)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


i am terrified of the dentist.

sometimes you have to go get a root canal.  and sometimes you're crying and fighting and freaking out about it.
so the dentist will let you watch tv so you'll be distracted.

sometimes you don't even know what you're watching.  all you know is that it has plenty of neil patrick harris in it, and that somehow makes everything a little bit better.

Monday, July 18, 2011


where can I turn for peace?
where is my solace
when other sources cease
to make me whole?

when with a wounded heart,
anger, or malice
I draw myself apart,
searching my soul?

where, when my aching grows,
where, when I languish,
where, in my need to know,
where can I run?

where is the quiet hand
to calm my anguish?
who, who can understand?
He, only One

He answers privately,
reaches my reaching
in my Gethsemane,
Savior and friend.

gentle the peace he finds
for my beseeching.
constant He is, and kind
love without end.

please bless someone will sing this with me.
i love this hymn.
sometimes it's exactly what  i need to hear.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

elephants, tigers, and peacocks, oh my!

 these are elephants
dari, christie, and zuri
so cool

 some sleepy tigers
taking naps in the shade

but the coolest bit of all
this peacock was just wandering about the zoo
just being pretty and stuff.

Monday, July 11, 2011

my music wish list

the les miserables complete symphonic recording.
every note of les miserables.

the original french concept album.
les miserables in french.
enough said.

both mika albums.
and the new one when it comes out next year.

queen's greatest hits.
even though it doesn't have bohemian rhapsody.
which is odd.

I need this.  so much.  I have a thing for lyrics.
and josiah's lyrics are incredible.  it's perfect.

however dark and disgusting and twisted this story may be
the music is phenomenal.  I think that's why I like it.
sondheim is a genius.

I know one of her songs really well.  but just the one.
(comme des enfants)
however, I completely adore it.
I don't think I need to understand what she's saying
(she's french.  everyone always demands "do you even know what she's singing?!")
to love her music.

this is my music wish list.
it's kind of a stretch, but ...
there's something I love about owning an album.
iTunes is great and all,
but I don't think it compares to
owning the album
seeing the artwork 
and choosing a cd for going on a drive
instead of just plugging in your iPod and putting it on shuffle.

I love music. 
sometimes I just want to share it with everyone.
I don't think being deaf would be so bad
except for the fact that I wouldn't be able to hear


Sunday, July 10, 2011

the world is beautiful.

we had a lesson on the creation a few weeks ago in institute.
I love the world.
one of the things I'm most scared of is not ever seeing enough of it.
I've been to a handful of states, and our lesson on the creation made me realize that the amount of the world I have actually seen is tiny.

and that really freaked me out.

I spent the past week in a place with no mountains.  It was flat and green and beautiful, just beautiful in a different way than I'm used to.

then I came home to my mountains.
I don't think I've ever really appreciated them before, as they've always been there.
they are truly beautiful.
(I secretly want to hug them.  I missed them that much.)

God is a phenomenal artist.

Monday, July 4, 2011

oh hey. let's shoot fire into the sky. that's a good idea.

a really great idea.

-google images.  might be my best friend

i love the 4th.  a lot.  fireworks might be one of my favorite things ever.
i think gold against a black sky is breathtaking.

i don't think i can say anymore about it.
i don't think words do it justice.
so just enjoy the picture.
and go watch some fireworks.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

it's fine, I'll just pretend...

"love isn't finding a perfect person
it's finding an imperfect person, and seeing them

oh, rolfe.  we fall for him every single time,
but then he breaks our hearts.

so. don't judge me. 
this is one of my favorite movies of all time.
and aww ...they're so in love.

"if he asked, I'd be his"
-les miserables

"and at last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted
and at last I see the light, and it's like the sky is new
all at once, everything looks different, now that I see you."

dear tangled,
you break my heart a little more every time I watch you.
so how come I can't stop?
love, me

"we are all a little weird.  and life is a little weird.
and eventually, we will find someone whose weirdness
matches our own.  and then we join up in mutual weirdness
and call it love."
-image from keith urban's "better life" video.  I don't really know how I'm supposed to credit these things.  I get most of my photos from google images...

someday, I'll be married in a castle like this.

because true love stories
never have endings.

dear marius,
find me ...soon
your cosette

love is ... not what the movies make it out to be
you think it is
being in love is the greatest feeling in the world
I promise.  nothing is better.
you think everything is perfect.
then life smacks you in the face.

sometimes, love stories just make me sick.
or they make me bitter and angry
but all the time
they make me go "aww...."
all the time, they make me smile.
all the time, I sort of like to pretend that it's me in the stories
and imagine that life is perfect.
what can I say?

i love love.
and someday, I hope I find it again.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

peter pan. love.

"when the first baby laughed for the first time
its laugh broke into a thousand pieces
and they all went skipping about
and that was the beginning of fairies"

"never say goodbye because goodbye
means going away, and going away
means forgetting."

"you know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
that's where I'll always think of you."

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough.
you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice
everything else for it."

"those who bring sunshine to the lives of others
cannot keep it from themselves."

"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in december."

"if you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else,
and if you don't have it,
it doesn't matter much what else you have."

"young boys should never be sent to bed.
they always wake up a day older."

(just freddie highmore breaking my heart. no
big deal...)

this week, I had a movie night with my sisters.  We rented pride and prejudice and finding neverland.
I have always loved peter pan.
I remember watching the disney movie when I was a wee small child.

now that I'm a grownup, I find the story truly magical.  It has everything an adventure needs.
mermaids, pirates, indians, fairies....

and the quotes are truly perfect.  It always has and always will be one of my favorite stories.

I love it.

[quotes by the brilliant JM Barrie]