that awkward blogging moment

when you're at the store and you run into someone who you frequently blog-stalk, and you almost say hi, but then you remember that this person has no idea who you are.  also, you don't actually know who they are outside of the internet.

this is also the reason that i have a secret blogging identity. so that never happens to you.  you're welcome.

learning to play the guitar.

i decided a little while ago i'd like to learn to play the guitar.  santa brought me a guitar for christmas, and i signed up for music 1080.

guitar proved to be easier to play than the piano (at least it has so far...)

and i was getting the hang of it.

one day in class, my teacher told us what our midterm would be.  we would each choose a song that uses only the four chords we've learned (g, c, d, and e minor.)  they're all fairly simple chords, and 8 billion songs use them.  singing along was encouraged but not required.  easy enough.

i chose my song, i worked out a strumming pattern, and i practiced.  i sang along, because without it the song is extremely repetitive.  i had a little trouble singing along to the strumming pattern i had picked during the chorus, but i didn't worry too much.

on the day of the midterm, i sat down in front of the class to play.  i was shaking a little bit, but just a little bit, because i was only a little bit nervous.  i had practiced.  it would be fine.

i made it through the first verse fine, but as i came to the first chorus i stumbled over the lyrics, getting distracted from my strumming, and before i knew it, i was using a strumming pattern that was completely wrong and didn't fit at all.  i got back on track during the second verse, but upon realizing that there was still another chorus left in the song, i got even more nervous and started to shake so much it made it hard to play.  by the end of the song, i was even singing notes that were completely wrong.  i was incredibly thankful at that moment that no one really knew the song, so they wouldn't know just how badly i'd messed it up.

yes, i played badly.

but i played.

i didn't stop singing halfway through when i realized how downhill it had gone.  i finished what i started.

i've only been playing for 2 months.  i am not going to be perfect at this yet.  and while my confidence was shattered for a moment, it isn't anymore.

the beginning is always going to be hardest.

don't give up.

it will change your life.

a very dear friend sent me here one day.

[i am going to do this]

and so now i'm sending you there.  because it will change your life.  probably.

art insights.

as part of my major i'm required to take a class called art insights.
it's an hour long (usually) lecture one night a week.
i get half a credit for it.
and i have to take 8 semesters of it.
and that means that i won't have a thursday night free for probably the whole rest of my life.

generally artists don't know how to talk about their art.
this is fine.  there is a reason we paint instead of write.
but the lectures can be incredibly dull.
granted, there have been a few that have inspired me to make art and to make better art.
mostly, though, i count down the minutes until i can leave.

and it's a good chance to practice drawing.

yesterday i practiced drawing this at art insights.

it's caterpillars raining from a ceiling fan.

it's fine.

i'm not dead.

and let's face it, the majority of people who will read that actually associate with me in person.
so you knew it already.

but to those of you who don't,
i'm not dead.
i've just found myself with very little to write about.

it sort of seems like all i talk about here is art.  and france.  because those are things that make me happy.
but happy things like france and art are not the only places in which one can find happiness.

remember this?


"happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

-albus dumbledore

so i propose a change.  my life is not all sunshine and puppies and ice cream and happiness.  the purpose of me writing this blog was to see the good in all that happens in life, because at the beginning of it, i was not happy.  i think that life is wonderful, but sometimes i forget.

so i'm going to remember.

i'm going to look for reasons life is wonderful.

i'm going to help you remember.

and for those of you who don't know it yet, i'm going to show you that life is wonderful.

or at least i am going to try.

life does not have to be perfect

to be wonderful.

also, i have $36.04 in my "jane needs to go to paris someday" fund.

oh, and my drawing class is the best.

have a nice day.

you want to know what's cool?

when you wake up with a direct view out your window to a sunrise that is completely identical to one you just painted.

light yellow-orange to pink to purple to blue.

that's cool.

in which i tell you a bunch of things about my life.

the five dollar movie bin at walmart?  it's the greatest thing ever...until you find three movies.  then you're already up to 15 dollars.
but i think when those movies are moulin rouge, hook, and august rush, it's worth it.
i'd go back to a year ago today if i could.
i'm reading to kill a mockingbird again.  i will read it a hundred times and not be done with it.  did i mention that it's my favorite book of all time?

it's almost finals.

male sibling is too old.  happy birthday, dear.

this album is my art music.  every time.  speaking of art... someone made one of my paintings into a christmas ornament.  how cool is that?  personally, i think it's a bit morbid to put on a christmas tree.  but it's still amazing.

also on the subject of art...

i can never ever make a silly t-shirt.  everyone else ends up with delightfully lame paint splatters and things and i end up with adorable penguin in the snow t-shirt.  my life is hard.